I can't believe you SAID that?!?!?!?!

My name is Wanda... and I am nosy.

I ask a lot of questions, some appropriate MOST not.  I enjoy finding out how people tick and what they are willing to share... Sometimes it occurs to me that more people would open up to one another if only given the opportunity.

I AM ALL ABOUT OPINIONS!!!!  some people may assume it is all about MY opinion, but that is not true.

I long to hear other people's thoughts and opinions... and I seriously enjoy a good "argument" not a fight... not name calling, but a good ol' fashioned debate.... the art of debate is lost outside of highschool debate clubs and BS politics... or perhaps, my form of debate differs from others... I don't think it should be a debate of popular theory... but a debate of personal thoughts and opinions... because.. I want to know YOU and where YOU stand on things....

That said... being a debater, and nosy and wanting to know how you tick has drawn me to blog, it has brought me to ask questions that most people wouldn't think to ask, and MANY people wouldn't dream of answering... I ask those questions that MAY very well make people uncomfortable... and I wait eagerly for the answers and opinions that will bring me a little bit closer to understanding you... and how you think... because my thoughts and opinions, though I spout them like they are law.... are based, in part, on what others think feel and do as well... I don't just decide that my opinion is the only one that matters, I depend on others as well, because I am open minded enough to understand that though I see things a certain way, it doesn't NECESSARILY mean that my way is the RIGHT way... even if it IS right for me.... but I digress....

So I ask... I put forth some questions, sometimes frivolous and stupid, sometimes silly, sometimes heart wrenching, but mostly I ask about things that people don't really talk about... because I think that if we DID talk about it, if we DID know where each other stood on certain key things, we would be able to see each other more equally and offer a bit more respect... if we could listen, we could get to know each other...and maybe see that we are more similar than we are different.... find a common ground and start treating our neighbors like our neighbors instead of like our enemies...

Now, it has come to my attention recently that sometimes, SOMETIMES I may offend, shock, amaze, anger, trigger other people with my nosy debate driven questions..... some people DON'T want to hear me, don't want to answer, don't like that I ask and don't want to hear OTHER PEOPLE'S answers.... seriously... ask a group of women intimate things and somebody is going to be annoyed by the question, annoyed by the answer, annoyed by how many answers, or just out and out NOT IMPRESSED....

and so... occasionally... I feel bad about my nosy questions... I stop for a minute and sit back and wonder.. "should I ask this??? Have I gone "too far"?"  I wonder if I should take back my questions... but then the burning need erupts in me again.  this desire I have to interact with you, with everyone... I believe that everyone is just waiting to make new friends... everyone wants to know someone... save serial killers and even they may just want someone to listen.... negative attention is STILL attention... but I digress....

So I post, and I query, I nose and I ask... because I am curious... and I thank you for answering my questions and putting out there your own opinions, and little personal bits of you especially in this day and age where cyber bullying is the newest form of censorship.... i say censorship not because you aren't ALLOWED to say what you think, it isn't against the law...  yet it is being censored... because of conflicting opinions and the loss of respect for fellow human beings...... People don't seem to see or hear or think about the fact that the tone of your words is not portrayed in print.... now... I have been the brunt of some pretty awful words via online... I have had my integrity questioned, my intelligence... I have been told that I know nothing about abuse, that I am cold and insensitive.... I have been called homophobic slurs and racial epithets and still I post... and I post because what they don't know... what they can't know, from the other side of their monitors... is that i am hiding too...

but I also want to share with you that verbally attacking someone online...hurts... if you wouldn't say it to someone's face... why would you say it online?  I will ask you the questions I ask to your face though I may blush.... but would you answer in a group the way you do online???  I know that I have noticed this phenomena of censorship, as have other bloggers like Chris Fretwell  and the way that these online censors are working is by attacking other people for their opinions... attacking them for reaching out, sharing their own thoughts and opinions and opening the door to countless new friends who they haven't met...

I urge you to remember that on the other side of that monitor is a real person... and you may be joking, you may be fed up, you may be offended by what someone says... however... in common threads, in posts on walls, in pictures and thoughts... just because they aren't your own, even if it differs from how you feel, you can show the respect in comments that you would show in person.... because just as you are likely a good person, it is just as likely that the other person is too and if it would sting were it said to you... perhaps choosing your words with that in mind before posting.... asking yourself if you would appreciate that sentiment said in just that way would make you feel that shame..... and if it would... rephrase what you are say... you are free to disagree, you are fully capable of clicking the button and removing yourself from this cyber conversation gracefully... because when you attack someone online, it says more about YOU then it does about them....