bring on the babies

Lately I have been in a different place in my life... really just reassessing the things that are going on and the gifts in my life.

I got to hold babies... everyone around me is having them, I just LOVE it!!  I mean, it gets a little different, having teenagers or not, being a lesbian or not, is irrelevant... i LOVE babies... I love the way that they smell, the way that they look at you as though you can't do anything wrong.  how they look deep into who you are.... I believe that babies sense things, that they sense who you are... have you ever noticed, when a baby is met with a person who is a good person, they seem a little confused (the baby that is)... they shy away, but keep looking back... I believe that they are seeing who you really are....

Honestly speaking, I could simply be talking out of my ass... I could be completely wrong and babies are just as dumb as the next person, that they too are naive... and that they haven't learned that they can't trust people... but I don't know... sometimes, in my naivete I have discovered some real gem people, so there is something to be said for not knowing any better... because one of the things that babies don't know any better about is judgment.... they don't judge you... it takes so little really, to be special to a baby... don''t hurt them... change them when they are dirty... hold them... touch them... talk to them... love them... those things... they simply aren't hard.... there is nothing that a baby can do that warrants hurting them and the rest, well, really, the rest is such a joy... (ok, diapers HAVE THEIR USES... seriously... I know, the dirty ones are gross, but the smell of brand new baby diapers... there isn't anything I like the smell of more, cept perhaps a freshly bathed baby in that self same diaper... ahhhh, baby skin... it is one of the wonders in my opinion.... but I digress....

I have the privledge of knowing not one, not two, but MULTIPLE babies currently... from 4 days old to 10 years old... plus teenagers (but let's be honest.... it is ACCEPTABLE for me not to revel in the teenage stage of child rearing... I keep hearing that they get back to normal by 30..... but I am almost 38 and I am pretty sure my mother would disagree)....and I love it.... they keep me grounded in reality... and i feel blessed... simply BLESSED to have them in my life.... to hold their little hands, and look into their eyes.... to teach them with words and gestures what it is to be a strong, healthy kid.... (ok, sometimes I think I have NO CLUE what I am doing.... I do have teenagers, and it is hit and miss with them...however, I like to THINK i did a good job with them....somedays.... I don't know... but I digress)...

You see.... babies..... remind me that there is good, that life is precious.... that people are kind... babies.... smell of new life, of sunshine and happiness... babies smiles hold the summer breeze, and the pristine perfection of winter snow and ice.... their eyes light up with alll that is love.... and to have them looking at me... to have them turn to me in wonder... makes life worth living don't you think???

Thank you, to all the baby mommas and daddys out there... thank you to my friends and family who are dropping babies like drop cookies (nice allegy.... everyone likes drop cookies).... thank you for giving innocents and love, joy and baby hugs back to the world... though sometimes we may forget what is good, and what is nice in the world.... you bring the answer straight to our hearts and our minds by bringing these babies to our lives....... so thank you...

Here's to another week with love and another night of smiles....

good night babies...

You Are Here

Hello???  Hey???  Is there anyone out there?  I can't see you.  I can only see me, without  a mirror, without any preamble, I see me.

I see deep into my own eyes, see that there is something there, a spark, a cloud, something... something mysterious, uncharted.... me.  I see the world in a different way, in a way foreign to many yet so complete that I wonder how anyone else is blind to this.

You are here.  You are reading about me and my life and my thoughts and my passions.  You are getting a glimpse of the me that is inside my head.  It is a crazy place here, crazy and fun and funny, sad and melancholy and depressed.  You are here.  You are waiting, with baited breath for something or someone to tell you what you are experiencing.

I am there.  I am showing you a little bit about me, putting it out there for everyone, for no one, for me.

Caution... contents are hot. My life is soup fresh from the stove, there are painful parts, if a bit of me spills on you, rush to put it under water, wash away the pain.  My life is fresh oven baked cookies, so tempting to take a bit yet caution is thrown to the wind and you take a bite.  I took that bite, took it and burnt myself.

I am the water, lapping gently at your toes, tempting you to step in, to let me cool your feet, calm your fears.  Like the ocean I hold many secret treasures though many are not prepared for the dive.  My heart is like a natural lake, deep in some places, shallow in others, once troubled, I am murky and unclear, the clouds of my experiences rising to the surface displaying shapes and objects not quite visible yet still eye catching.  I beckon you to join me, to investigate the murkiness to your heart's content.

Where am I? I am an island, too beautiful to remain uncharted yet changed forever with the disregard of others.  Serenity is amongst the jungle of feelings and experiences, a peek of eyes glowing faintly in the night.  Alone in the world during the hurricane season of emotions and inundated with overwhelming excitement when the world has settled, only to await the weather that is feelings.

When am I?  I am your birthday, Christmas, Halloween, Mother's day, all rolled into one.  To await my arrival excitedly, to count the ways that I am special....only to find that I, like the holiday is bitter sweet.... less than expected, more than deserved.  I fill you with laughter and presents, games and frights and leave quickly in the night leaving you to awaken to another dull day.

Can you see me now?  I still can't see you, peek into my world, over my shoulder, into my mind.  Look into my eyes and see the waves of life, the vines of hurt, the taste of passion.