hey.... are you gonna eat that?

So I have started several different blogs tonight, some for Christmas, one for love, one on laughter… and then I took a look at a post of a picture I put on Facebook showing two women who, for all intents and purposes, portray the stereotypical lesbian couple of one feminine woman and one who was more masculine….

A few people commented on the picture but I noted something about it…. The first comment noted how hot one of the women was, but how thin she might be.  Now, don’t get me wrong, this is nothing against noting that, but when it was pointed out that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, the next comment sarcastically cited “anorexia” as beautiful…. I was truly taken aback….

I recently went outside of my “type” in the community, setting aside physical attributes and concentrating first on who a person was and no longer taking anyone automatically out of things based on my “preference” of bigger women who wore glasses, had short dark hair and were more masculine…. I decided to just meet women and see if we hit it off based on who we were.  On this journey I have met some great women and I had the pleasure of getting to know a woman who in the past would have been on the “no” pile because she was substantially smaller than I.  Though I felt big and clunky with her, and even a bit shy, I realized those were MY issues, not hers.

You see, my older sister is also substantially smaller than I.  The family joke is that she has my metabolism as well as her own as she struggles to keep weight on and I struggle to keep from creeping any higher….  But this isn’t about me and my size currently.  This is particularly about thinner women… Now don’t get me wrong, no offense to all the thin women, I don’t want to pump ya’ll up higher than you get to be put by society but I do want to recognize that though society states that thin is in and obesity is the epidemic, thin women kind of get a bad rap.  Some of ya’ll deserve it with your “I’m far more desirable because I am thin” attitudes, however I know enough of you to know that a lot of those attitude really hide something deep and dark. 

Thin women seldom like their own body… WHAT?!?!?!?  It’s true… and here I am and was, sitting on the side thinking how great it must be to be thin for most of my life… but the truth is… a lot of them don’t like their bodies either….. Whether it be extra skin, or freckles, stretch marks or scars, loose skin from weight loss or strangely shaped moles that  had to be removed…. Nobody seems to like their body.

Now, I was raised by my mid to large size mother with my extra large sister and my EXTRA EXTRA small sister and my small brother.  My extra large sister developed an eating disorder at 16… she became my extra small sister, but being thin didn’t make her happier, she still killed herself… even though she was thin….. it didn’t bring her happiness… but I digress.  My XXS sister has always been approximately HALF of me… thankfully not in height (I’m not that tall, though that would have made her an EXTRA FAT short person... anyway, she has been half my weight pretty much since I was about 17 or 18…. My brother is also in the “0.5% body fat” group… lucky me… OBESITY!!!... again… digressing….

But, because I am a thin woman living inside a fat woman, I do like to live vicariously through my thin sister… except, while doing so, I have noticed something…. People… women especially… are just as mean and nasty to really THIN women as they are to women like myself who are fat….. so the saying that you can never be too rich or too thin is not true… because being too thin puts you in the undesirable department along with the big girls, women with massive facial hair, different size boobs, extra long labia, buck tooth, knock kneed, etc, etc, etc....

But I have noticed something else…. I have noticed that if a woman is fat (like your’s truly….) they are undesirable because of that fact… and finding someone who loves you for YOU is hard… someone who doesn’t tell you that they like you for your personality but that they find YOU hot and sexy in all your chunkiness…. Damn near impossible… add to that walking down the street to rude comments… ugh… the list goes on and we could talk about it for days… but I have also noticed that if a woman is thin (like my itty bitty sister)… she is undesirable because of that fact…. And we ALL encourage people to judge that…. 

Not ALL super thin women are anorexic or bulimic.  Not ALL women who wear a size 00 starve themselves… and not ALL women who are small did ANYTHING at all to get that way…. It’s simply the way that their bodies are made.  Some of the biggest eaters I know are thin…. And some of the smallest eaters I know are heavy….. and if you think about it, I bet you can honestly say the same thing…. Do you really think all of your thin, healthy appetite friends are throwing up?  No, because if they look “healthy” you don’t think anything of it…. If they are naturally within the proper weight/height ratio….

Those women were thin… yes they were… they were not MY type… but they were beautiful women… I didn’t like the clothes they were wearing, they looked dropped on the women’s bodies… but it wasn’t’ about their bodies, it was about how poorly the clothing fit…

 

I don’t know what it is…. But people come in EXTREME sizes now a days…. Super, super thin, and mondo, amazingly big… and they are beautiful because they are people…. But we need to stop lookin at a person’s size as though that depicts who a person is or if they are or aren’t healthy. 

Why not go out today and meet someone who fits into your stereotypical “no go” group and ask them out on a date… go for coffee and get to know them… who cares how big they are or aren’t… get to know someone new just because…. Base it on who they are not the size of their pants… and give people a break…..