Well, THAT'S out of the way.....

Well, Christmas is done... thank goodness!  I hate the holiday freaking out, the mood swings, the being forcefully cheery when you simply want to snuggle into bed with a cup of coffee, someone warm and a calm movie.... I suppose I want those things because they are things I have never had in my life... maybe those things aren't what they are cracked up to be... so I will make an effort... I will go out on a limb, as it were, and admit that I loved the crazy 2 day madness....

Christmas for me is so many different things, as I am sure it is for all of you.  I have so many memories from childhood and adulthood, from my kids' faces to the presents from my dad when I was 7..... The foods I ate reminded me so much of life as it has been and not as it is... there were things missing... that brought me back to reality.  No sweet Potatoe pie... my father's recipe.. No green onion casserole, my step father's, no beets, (my mom) or yams (tammy) no ham (keasha) or turnips (my grandma)....

And yet it was one of the Christmas' that I will remember most... I will remember this Christmas that not everything is as it seems and it takes very little to make the most of a situation.  I will remember that people may hurt you, they may emotionally throw you on the ground and stomp on you, but if they EVER cared about you, they might surprise you with an apology that is from the heart... I will rmember opening the gift bags in my room at 2 in the morning and sleeping till noon.  I will remember the wonderful people who came by, had a bite to eat, just visited.  I will remember chocolate pecan clusters and homemade brownies; banana bread and turkey gravy.  I will remember my family together in one place for a prolonged period of time and no one killing each other.

I will remember the feeling when a friend offered me a way to give my children Christmas because she knew I was in trouble and they weren't having it... i will remember thinking that I ruined Christmas for my kids and vowing to do better next year.  I will remember Turkey dinner everywhere... wine, smiling, hugs and candy... the kindness that I hear about was here, in my home, in my heart, and I loved it.

This christmas I was reminded that you don't need EVERYTHING to make you feel like SOMETHING.. you don't have to be in love in order to feel love at Christmas time.  I was reminded that a cuddle with my kid is worth the dirty looks.  That singing and dancing with my kids makes it all seem ok again.

This special holiday I was brought full circle to infants in my arms, the smell of their soft skin and the sound of their electronic toys making Christmas what it was meant to be....

Thanks, to everyone in my life, for being here in my life.  For offering me a reminder that love is worth all  the ups and downs, cuz there's nothing better..

Merry Christmas everyone!!